Pain

         For the people who have no sense of control. For the people who think that the things they do are sane. They are insane and this is for you. What does it mean to love?" To see a man is a unique preoccupation of one’s life. A preoccupation above all others. An invitation to mutual exploration seized during moments of visual emotional contact accompanied by the removal of any artificiality and accompanied by the flash of light."^[1](Investigating Sex) Photography. A picture in your mind means a thousand of your own meanings. I was in so much pain when I seen this. You think that you can change the picture that you put in my mind. You can't. I see you and I get a headache. I see you and I fall to my knees and say, “Why?” I see you and think that God put you on earth for a reason. Why!? I will never know. I am thinking about you and how you degrade, betrayed, and defiled me. I don't know why, but you popped into my head after all these years. I was scared and I cried. Then I stop and read my book. I read my story. Then I cried again and saw that I came from a long way. You have made it bad for a lot of good people. Uncomfortable is not the word no more. It is unbearable. I hide my pain still, but I let it out in a better manner.

Existence

Humans who lose their capacity to think become creatures whose existence has no value. Is it a sin to search for those things in which you fear? My purpose in this world is knowledge and the dissemination of it. To sit and apathetically wait for your life and your world to fall for extinction. I am crying and my heart is not content. My tears are nothing, but mere existence. I am a person who is walking like she is alone in the world. I am sick of seeing the hate of mankind go far beyond the horizon. I cry everyday with my silent tears that roll down my cheek. Existence is based on you, your identity, and your personal stamp on life’s canvass of modern art. I can say that I am invisible because you will never know what happens behind closed doors. You will never see the scars on my back or the anger in my heart. You cannot tell that I am who I portray myself to be. That is giving false modesty to the world which is another form of lying. Existence is merely what is in your mind, heart, and soul. I can honest say that if you have nothing in your mind, heart, and soul than you do not exist.